Starting over…?

Work went alright yesterday as far as I know.  There’s still some time left before I feel completely comfortable with things but only time will tell.  I think I was still nervous yesterday even with the pills because I bought $200 worth of stuff I can’t afford.  One thing I actually needed and those were new headphones that I put to good use today at the gym.  Tomorrow morning I was supposed to have a meeting at 8am at work so I had planned to spend the night at my coworkers house which I wasn’t all that excited about.  I got a text at the gym that the meeting was canceled so I at least got out of those two things.  I also got a text from Anthony again.  He just texted me like nothing was wrong…again!  He finally asked if I wanted to hangout tonight and I told him that I was over it and that he had bailed on me too many times and that we shouldn’t talk anymore.  He said he felt bad, and a part of me wanted him to beg and plead for me back but of course he didn’t.  It does hurt my feelings that I was that disposable to him and that he didn’t even realize that he had done anything wrong.  At least I got to tell him how I really feel and I should feel as if a weight has been lifted since now he’s really gone but I’m still hurt.  I miss hanging out with someone I’m attracted to.  It’s like I got a little taste and I want more.  For now I’ve just been in my hermitude status.  I was kind of supposed to go out last night but I fell asleep at 6pm and woke up at 11.  I didn’t even know I was that tired.  Tonight I might(?) go out but not entirely sure and certainly wouldn’t bet on it.  I’m glad I went to the gym though regardless of what’s going on.  Now that I’m not going over my coworkers house I have the rest of the day to binge watch tv and read.  Another normal day for me.  Tomorrow I have class which I HAVE to go to and then Sunday I work again.  Hopefully something good and exciting happens soon because I’m starting to get bored. 

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