22. Let it flow

My finger has healed enough its not completely awkward typing. Thought I really don’t have much feeling in it at all any more. Dakota slowly looks more and more pregnant. No one has fought since that day, but I have been keeping them completely apart, with very little interaction. I just can not try and rip them apart like that again. It was literally being in the middle of one of those horrific dog fights you see on T.v right before the cops raid the house. Utterly terrifying.

Thing with Ann have been good. IT hasn’t been easy trying to work through things, but we have been working through them. WE both have trust issues with each other, for very different reasons, but trust is trust. It’s a very hard thing to try and rebuild. There’s just something about us though.

I have pretty much stopped  drinking. Which is a lot for me to say. With the wedding being this weekend, I will drink, but very minimal. A lot has changed in me since I have quit drinking, I care a little more about things, I feel, and realize I actually have emotions, and they need to be address. Pawning them off into oblivion just isn’t a health way to manage things.

                                                                          With the journey to having my own biological

                                                                           children treks on, my mind set has to change.

Speaking of, July fifth is the day I go and see the doctor and figure out what my options are, so that I can continue on to the next set, surgery. It’s kind of all happening so suddenly. I knew that this year would be the year, but these doctors are so on top of things, and eager to get this done, so that I can get back on T, it amazes me. It’s like they actually care.

Work is going down hill, which is alright because I have a job interview Monday. It’s time to move on. With this job I’ll have less responsibility, and be able to focus on studying and school more. Dedicate some really time and effort into my business.

                               Everything happens for a reason.


                        I’m just trying to trust in it, and go with the flow.

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