11:50 PM

I enjoy being alone, romantically. I enjoy not being tied down and being able to be independent. But I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to have a relationship—have someone who cares about you, and loves your every flaw. 

I wanna know the feeling of holding someone’s hand for so long to the point it becomes sweaty, or the feeling of holding someone so tight that you forget about everyone and everything in the world for that moment.

These thoughts occur to me at least everyday. I’ll see two people while out and wonder if I’ll ever have that. Wonder if I’ll ever have a love that consumes me. 

I’m only 15, therefore I have a whole life ahead of me to experience this, but the majority of my friends have had people either like them or been in relationships. Meanwhile, I’ve had 2 ‘things’ with people, and 1 long distance relationship, resulting in me getting fucked over all 3 times.

I was always the one to fall and care more between the other person and I. Maybe they did care, but if they cared so much, why was I let down in the worst ways? 

If you care and claim to like/love someone, why hurt them? It makes no sense to me and it never will.

Maybe I’ll meet the right person as time goes on. Whether it be now, soon or later in life. I understand that you have to go through obstacles to win the race, but quite frankly, I’m tired of waiting. 

I’m ready for the day I claim my trophy; whenever that may be.

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