You know when you’re doing something and something just hits you, ruining your mood? That’s exactly what happens to me. It absolutely fucking sucks.
I thought I was getting better with my insecurities. Turns out, I’m not. In fact, I think it’s just getting worse.
I’m here hanging out with my best friend, having a good time, when of course, all the sudden, the toxic thoughts come to me.
‘I wish I was as pretty as her, I wish my friends thought I was pretty, I wish I wasn’t so annoying. Why am I so annoying? Why can’t I be anyone’s favorite person? All of my friends have a favorite person, I know for damn sure I’m definitely not one of them.’ and it goes on.
I know there’s always gonna be someone prettier, skinner, smarter, better than I am, but I just wanna know what it’s like to be any of those things.
I see all these girls get compliments on pictures of themselves from people, whether it be friends or not, on instagram, Snapchat etc and I’m lucky if I even get one. Most of the time it’s from my damn mom.
It sucks. It really fucking sucks. My friends are way prettier than I am, which is no brainer why so many people/boys like them.
The fact that I’m annoying and unattractive ruins everything. Maybe I’ll always be alone. Maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to be and what I deserve.