11 PM

You know when you’re doing something and something just hits you, ruining your mood? That’s exactly what happens to me. It absolutely fucking sucks.

I thought I was getting better with my insecurities. Turns out, I’m not. In fact, I think it’s just getting worse.

I’m here hanging out with my best friend, having a good time, when of course, all the sudden, the toxic thoughts come to me.

I wish I was as pretty as her, I wish my friends thought I was pretty, I wish I wasn’t so annoying. Why am I so annoying? Why can’t I be anyone’s favorite person? All of my friends have a favorite person, I know for damn sure I’m definitely not one of them.’ and it goes on.

I know there’s always gonna be someone prettier, skinner, smarter, better than I am, but I just wanna know what it’s like to be any of those things.

I see all these girls get compliments on pictures of themselves from people, whether it be friends or not, on instagram, Snapchat etc and I’m lucky if I even get one. Most of the time it’s from my damn mom.

It sucks. It really fucking sucks. My friends are way prettier than I am, which is no brainer why so many people/boys like them. 

The fact that I’m annoying and unattractive ruins everything. Maybe I’ll always be alone. Maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to be and what I deserve.

One thought on “11 PM”

  1. No one deserves to feel like they are less than. I do not know you and I do not know your life, but one thing I do know is that social media can make approval from others seem so radically important. Everyone has moments when they feel like they are not good enough, but it’s necessary to recognize those negative thoughts and fight back! Tell yourself you deserve to be loved, because I promise you, you do. Don’t give up, try to find the beauty of yourself- because it’s there.

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