Today was one of my Days off and I made the best of it! I got to went for a walk in the opposite direction than I normally do. I ended up walking up into the cemetery and this is no joke! I saw a tombstone that said “HORTON.” For whatever reason, I broke down and I had a good cry in front of it.
I felt weak by crying – but afterwards I felt stronger. It’s very hard to explain. I was raised not to cry and my Father was raised not to cry. But my Father was raised by an alcoholic, so go figure! But props to my Grandfather! He quit drinking right around the age that I’m at now!
I’m not sure why I broke down in tears! One thing was that I thought to myself “If I continue to drink, this could be me, and my Family would be standing here visiting my grave.” My other thought was my Biological Son, LLS or the Boys visiting. It was such a surreal experience for me. Maybe something that I needed to experience!
When I do cry, it’s usually in private! But I didn’t feel to bad about crying in a public place! I figured that if anyone saw me that they’d assume that I was grieving over a lost loved one!
It was a good cry! It wasn’t a me being a baby cry! It was me being human.
I did end up going for a jog this evening! I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to because it was raining – but like some sort of little miracle just for my sanity – it stopped raining! It wasn’t my best time (one mile in 10 minutes), but it definitely got my blood flowing and it felt good!
Now I’m going to end a good day with a movie!