Day 18 of Sobriety

     Today is Day 18!! Last night’s meeting still has me feeling very good! I feel odd though because I keep telling everyone how great that I feel since I quit drinking! I’m so happy and excited that people probably think that I’m on something!! I haven’t even smoked weed in 18 days either. 

     About weed! I’m not sure if that’s safe to smoke or if it will make me want to drink. LLS and I have smoked lots of times while not drinking so maybe it’s ok. But I’m enjoying my clear mind so I should do some research! 

     Today was good! I’m starting to feel Normal. Not that I’m not normal but I feel like I’m evolving into something really great. I like the feeling a lot. I’m more energized, upbeat, confident and I look forward to things that I quit looking forward to before. It feels amazing! 

     I started working out doing crunches, sit ups and other at home Exercises just to keep me busy. Since I quit drinking I have much more time on my hands obviously – but I’m sometimes not sure what to do with that time. But I am figuring out positive ways to consume the extra time! 

     I have band practice Tomorrow!  I have to head over to my buddies earlier to help Him out. It would be such a huge boost if I could see the Boys. Even for two minutes! I want to drop some money off to LLS but I don’t want to offend Her. I don’t want Her to think that I feel like She’s incapable of providing. I only want to help out because I feel like it’s the right thing to do. 

     It’s funny, but after being totally sober and clear headed – you start to ask yourself what things you wish you had done differently. I wish that I would have told LLS how proud that I was of Her more often. I sometimes only pointed out or nit picked a few negatives when there were so many positives that should have been addressed. She’s a great Mom and although She has flaws like we all do – She was a great girlfriend. 

     I would have married this one had I woken up sooner and quit drinking. You live and you learn. All I know is that although I should be depressed, I’m really not. I mean, I miss Her and I love Her – but my Sobriety is important and I’m happy. 

     Not that She didn’t make me happy because She did! It’s just that I was unhappy because alcohol made me unhappy. Now that it’s not in my system, I’m eating better, I’m talking in group and I’m jogging and taking care of myself – I can’t help but feel good. I kind of feel guilty about it. But I can’t beat myself up. I have too many positive things that I want to do. 

Good night 

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