Wednesday June 28th

Today is the last day of school. So hard to believe. I have had some tough moments since I moved here, but I am in a good place now. I have had moments when I thought I was surely going to go back to Kentucky. That would have been tomorrow I would be moving there. I am so far from that place in my thinking now. I have my certification in place, I have a bio job lined up for next school year, I have an apartment that may be rent stabilized. I have made so much progress since January 20th when I arrived here to stay. I am proud of myself. 

I have a date tonight with Andrew that I have been texting with. I hope it goes well. 

Later, that same day…

I’m ready for my date. I have about 10 minutes before I need to leave. I have been thinking about how this guy thinks I’m so cool and hot and whatever. If he thinks I’m so great, why can’t my former husband think any of that about me? Every time someone likes me, that’s what comes into my mind. I think, “Why can’t this just be Brent?” Instead of making be feel good that someone thinks I’m cool or worthy of their attention, it makes me feel sad. 

I am so hopeful. I am going to try my best to make this work- to give him a fair chance. 

2 thoughts on “Wednesday June 28th”

  1. I always look forward to reading your journal entries. I have to tell you that you are very inspiring to me. I have a similar childhood as you and struggle every single day as an adult (I am now 49). I “see” how you are moving forward in your life even if it isn’t easy and I wish/want to do the same – even just small steps seem so hard at times but you are doing it.

  2. Thank you so much for writing me. I have kept a journal since I was a pretty young kid, and I started doing it online because the feedback I get from others helps me so much! It makes me feel better just knowing that I am not alone in my struggles. 🙂

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