Lets talk sex.

Lets talk sex baby.

More importantly rape.

girl 12 with a body more befitting of a teenage boy. Straight up and down figure and a short bob haircut.

Man mid60s, girls step father, ex reverend at the church she grew up in.

It started with the little things, a strange comment here, a weird look there and quickly escalated to being pinned down on a chair in which he would roll his tongue back and forth across her clit, forcing a finger inside her, then another  and another. She would just whimper as silent tears would roll down her cheeks. 

Within weeks he was dragging her into his bedroom whilst her mumma worked and her siblings slept and he would force his way inside her. Grunting ‘sexy’ talk into her hair ‘ God your so wet, I love you tight cunt.’ 

In public he was nice and sweet but at home he would be cruel and nasty when ever someone was out of earshot, except when she was flat on her back begging him to stop. Then she was beautiful and sexy. He loved her more than his wife. More than anything. She just felt sick. Dirty. Used. 

Each day she would dread coming home, hoping and praying he would just leave her to get on with her homework in peace. Each day would end in disappointment as his hunger for her body grew. At 14 she hoped that having boyfriends would put him off but all it did was make him want her more- branding her as his. 

This man was so obsessed with using her, he didn’t notice the tiny slices she was making to her thighs, as along as he got his fix he didn’t care what was happening. 

Why didn’t she tell someone, anyone.. fear. She was scared. Who would believe her over a reverend. He was well liked and respected. She was just a silly child who told lies and liked to make up stories. He twisted everything. Told her he would kill her family, that she would destroy everyone’s lives if she dared to say anything about what he was doing. 

Stupidly she believed him. She believed him until her mum divorced him. The girl was 17. She had kept his secret all that time, telling no one. The incidents had more or less stopped when she turned 16, she was no longer a straight up and down figure- she was getting curves. She was maturing. He called her fat and ugly. 

At 19 the girl found the courage to talk to the police. They believed her. No one doubted her. It went to court, he claimed he was innocent, that she was lying. He was  found guilty. 10.5 years he was sentenced to. 

I am that girl. 6/7/11 the day the man was sentenced. The day I started to rebuild my life. Things are tough and there are still days where I wake up screaming or I have a panic attack during making love to my husband but things are far from over. I am stronger than this.


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