My dance with depression and anxiety began when I was a freshman in college. Now, a rising senior, I’ve been on-and-off medication for about a year.
There were times when every fiber of my being wanted to leave my body. I had no appreciation for myself. I thought I was useless and a waste of energy. I couldn’t understand why anyone would love me because I didn’t care about myself.
This summer, I started taking my medication again and have been for about two months. I have taken my first steps on my journey to self-love and have truly begun to recognize the worth of my life.
While I’m on my medication, I feel like a different person. The gloom and doom of my everyday routine slowly begins to fade and I start believing that I am worth the space I fill.
Obviously, it’s great to not hate myself. But here’s the thing:
My depression is me. My anxiety is me. They are huge parts of who I am and I am not ashamed of that. If I want to love myself, then I need to love my depression and my anxiety. My battle with mental health has made me strong and compassionate and empathetic. I have learned to see value in the smallest of moments, I care deeply for all people in my life, and I spread kindness whenever possible. That is who I am because of my depression and anxiety and that person deserves love.