Day 30 – 30 Days of Remembrance

I didn’t write this journal entry on June 30.  I tried. All the words were in my head, swirling around, ready to be written. When I tried, my fingers stopped. I’ve written a lot of entries in the last six months, some very painful ones; but on this day I struggled. 

This is the day, one year ago, I left my job and never went back. Looking back, this was a good thing, but at the time it was a hardship and today; a painful memory. I left work late because my boss and I were chatting. I had no idea when I closed the door behind me I would never step foot in the building again. I might have taken a few things with me. 😊  Even though my conscious mind knew nothing of the events to transpire over the next year, deep inside me there were warnings of the danger ahead….I just refused to listen. 

As I look back and think about how my life felt one year ago and today, the world is amazing now; calm, peaceful, bursting with colour.  I saw none of this last year; pain blocks out all beauty, holds you hostage, waiting for a ransom it hopes arrives quickly.

This morning, as I’m writing (it’s July 3) I’m in my sunroom looking into my yard. It’s beautiful here, my piece of heaven; even the morning dove sounds pleasant (and that says a lot!). My soul is warm, full of life, ready to embrace the world and all the promise it holds. 

On my last day of Remembrance I want my parents to know I am ok.  I felt your presence when I needed it and used your guidance to find my way. Keep watch over me; I will need you by my side for many more years. Love you both, stay peaceful. ❤️❤️

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