with you, I always felt safe and calm. I felt wanted- worthy. unfortunately for me, you have only ever wanted me when you want me. you disappear, leaving me to hold my breath, hoping and waiting for you to see in me what I have always seen in you… an everlasting love that goes far beyond this lifetime. too often I give in to the idea that you will someday come back to me-an epiphany of sorts realizing we are meant to be.
I continue making mental notes of all the things I would do differently if (when?) given the chance. day in and day out, unable to let go of all the could have been, would have been, should have been moments.
gasping for air; after holding my breath for so long that that it is beginning to feel as if I am living on a planet with no oxygen.
I can’t breath.
I know, I know, I know…
against my better judgement, I refuse to give up.
you’re my person..
even if I am not yours