Sinking

I know that sometimes I am too much to handle.  

I did what I shouldn’t have done. I did something …

I guess it is true what they all say “somethings are better left unknown”

I’m hurting today more that I was hurting yesterday, tomorrow will I hurt more than today?

Maybe I’m going to use the excuse that I may have gotten a bit intoxicated. That intoxication caused me to do it.. 

I opened up his phone and I read them. I read those messages he had sent to all of his “girlfriends” Having conversations with friends are wonderful. Truly great. Then I started to realize that some of the same things he’d tell me… he was telling them too. They make me jealous as to how is it that I’m dying and awaiting for his messages, while they receive it all the time. He doesn’t joke like he does with them with me. I spend all day waiting for one simple  “I hope you’re having a great day.” Yet they get those messages like no tomorrow.  

Here’s to question, is it insecurity? Or has he emotionally cheated on me? Would you please have mercy on me? You’re breaking me even when you don’t mean to. 

 

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