Days Gone By. Birthday, Bye.

The days have gotten easier since my accident with the ducks. It took a long time before I stopped crying just going over the spot where I hit them, and the nightmares finally stopped after I had gone to the city and saw someone had hit a baby deer at some point and either hit it with such force or other people have run over it since and it’s back end was ripped off and it’s entrails were all over the road. I cried at that. I mean I feel bad for animals that have been hit and killed on the interstate and highways, but when it is babies it really affects me more. I don’t know why. More innocent, even though ducks and deer are pretty damn innocent.
I’ve been doing well now that I am able to start not seeing them when I sleep or when I have my eyes closed. Nothing much has changed in my daily living other than my husband has gone trigger happy with the chainsaw and has been tearing down tree’s in our yard left and right, so the back yard has two huge gaps on the east side where he cut down multiple trees. Pissed me off. It doesn’t look nice anymore when you look that way. 
The yard looks kinda bad anyway since he isn’t exactly mowing to where the yard looks neat and trimmed. He’s missing a lot of places he use to be anal about keeping short and looking good. Probably because he’s the only one mowing now and the other mower broke down. Whatever, it gives more frolicking space for the foxes to roam around. 
They have moved back to our yard and are under the barn, which now I hope a wind storm doesn’t knock down. I don’t need dead foxes now too.  I don’t see them much since the back of the barn is broken down and they live under all the wood and the tall grass around it/since Nathan doesn’t mow much around there now. But we see the parents every now and then going into the yard. He probably spooked them bad by going in the barn with the bobcat and moving a bunch of stuff out which is noisy, but hopefully they stick around until the babies are old enough to leave.  I haven’t put food out for them in awhile, maybe I’ll do that soon.

My Birthday was Monday. Didn’t really do much of anything. Too hot. I can’t deal with the heat so I just basically slept all day and Nathan was mad since he wanted to do something for me on my birthday.   I don’t know why, but I get myself so hyped for my birthday and it only depresses me because it doesn’t turn out or because I expect something amazing to happen and it never does, so I just don’t really do anything anymore.  It didn’t affect me too much this year so that’s good. I got a Hello Kitty ice cream cake which was delicious lol But that was about it.  I asked to just do something over the weekend together since it is probably the last weekend we will get together over the summer.  Make it a date night on Saturday.
My 4th was basically the same. 96 degrees with 50% humidity. I WAS DYING IN MY OWN HOUSE. I have AC and it wasn’t going strong enough to keep my house cool. UGH. I begged to put the window unit in so it cooled off the living room at least and the central air wouldn’t have to work as hard.   It’s probably still going since it’s still 70degrees here. Ugh. 

Didn’t eat all day because I didn’t want to cook and make it hotter. It’s just going to get worse.  My birthday usually is the point where the heat of the year kicks off and it doesn’t cool off again until fall. ugh. 
Sooo, right now I am looking at the menu to the local 24/7 gas station that makes pizza’s and burgers and whatnot.  I want everything because I’m so hungry. Just ordered hot ham and cheese and cheesy bread, but I’ll probably buy some chips to nibble on for the rest of work.  Thinking of picking up a bunch of over time this month since they are offering double time for overtime shifts. I’ll be making $28 an hour if I pick up. LOTS OF MONEY. I need money lol Gotta save up for a new house to be moved out to the property. <3

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