JOKER

 

so i’m going to tell you about one of my life lessons … it was about ..lets say 3-4 yrs ago ..i met this guy let’s call him joker ..so i met joker at my mom’s friends house he lived with my mom’s  friend i went over there to just hang out and get out of the house..me and joker just started hanging out ..after the first time we talked i started coming over more and more..i guess you could say i was attached..after awhile one day we actually kissed ..he made the move ..it felt like electricity..because i knew i wasn’t suppose to do what just happened..so i guess our “love game” was forbidden i told no one about him he was older than me so i would of gotten him in trouble…after that kiss a couple days later …he took my virginity …well i gave it to him because he felt like the one.. he told me “i’m going to steal you away from here and we can live far away on our own and have a family” and me being in love love for the first time believed it i trusted him so much i started lying and stuff for him…everyday we could he wanted to “make love” he turned me into something i couldn’t ever imagine myself being….that’s when the depression hit i don’t know what happened but my stomach turned every time i saw him after that..the reason / he was cheating on me and my body knew so …my heart just yelled shut up he wouldn’t do that to you….but he was.right under my nose ..after that i started to check in on him everyday even when we were apart and sure enough..one girl pops up…two girls pop up…3,4, i became so stoned hearted i threatened him to stop or i would give up and tell someone of what he did to me. he said he was sorry and stuff i believed him ..with little trust though this time ..i was very skeptical ..i even went through his phone and deleted things like other girls numbers and pictures and text etc…i wanted to stay with him..but i couldn’t help my depression i was consumed by its darkness ..i didn’t speak i didn’t stay awake i slept all day if someone let me..i didn’t talk to friends i failed in school ..my mom figured it out after i tried to kill myself…he went to prison..he killed me inside…i moved on though ..hurts but it’s the right thing to do. he says he still loves me.  

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