[6] ~*Thu – 07/06/17*~

[8:20 pm]

Alright, I got a few things I want to talk about right now so let’s just start.

I still haven’t heard from the manager for my doors and I never have time to go to the store to talk to him so I don’t know what’s up. I mean, as long as I’m not talking to someone I’m not paying so that is totally fine with me, I can certainly keep my money. But I guess I should go there next week on my day off to talk to someone cause I don’t want to get in trouble for not paying after the installation was done and all. I just wish things could get done right the first time but nope, not when it comes to me. My brother texted me last night about it and he was making fun of me. I hate how people always seem to make fun of my misfortune and never take count of my feelings as I do get upset easily about things not being done right. I will stop talking about this or I will just end up being mad and I don’t want to be mad right now as I already had a bleh day as it is.

I got an email from my friend last night and I really hate writing about it but I just need to talk about it. I really feel bad writing it thought so I might delete this part in the future, don’t know. So my friend emailed me which she rarely does so I knew there was something up. That is another thing I don’t like as I feel I always care about people way more than they care about me. I always email her to say silly stuff and just make contact with her. I call her, go see her but she never email, call or come see me. I’m always taking care of her but I feel like, not that she doesn’t care, but like she doesn’t care enough for what I care about her. Anyways, she was asking me to loan her some money and that if I couldn’t it was OK cause she didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. The thing is, I know she’s in a rough spot right now and of course I will help her out if I can but I sometime feel like people just come see me when they want something, like they don’t really care about ME. That really makes me sad (I’m actually about to cry right now). I feel like I give so much of myself to people and never receive anything in return. I know I don’t do things to get anything in return but to feel cared about once in a while would be nice. Like I said before, people seem to just laugh at my misfortune and that’s about it. When I’m upset I always say “I’m gonna go jump off a bridge” which also make people sorta laugh at me. Saying I’m silly and all but just wait for the day I really do go and do it, let’s see how they feel then. Meh! They probably wouldn’t even care which is so sad.

Beside all this blahness, I ran into my neighbor last night and she was like “we should go out to eat tomorrow night” which I agreed too but of course when I got home from work she wasn’t home. I went over, her husband answered the door but he was on a business call so he told me he’d come see me when he was done. When he came over I told him his wife wanted us to go out to eat (which we never did before) but obviously forgot or something as she wasn’t home. He then told me he didn’t know where she was but he could give me her cell number so I could call her but also dropped a bomb on me saying that they were separating. In some way it wasn’t too much of a shock cause I could tell they weren’t really spending time together anymore but it was still a shock. I talk to him way more than his wife so not to be mean but I hope he’s the one that stays. Now I feel sad and a bit lost cause I don’t want him to leave, I like him as a neighbor. He’s actually the only one I know and talk to. I’m also a bit scared that both of them will leave and just sell the house which would stress me out cause then who knows what kind of neighbor I’d be getting. I really hope he ends up staying.

That was another blah of the day.. To add to things, of course hub didn’t clean the suggies kitchen, AGAIN. I’m getting really fed up with it. I’m always doing everything and right now I just feel like screaming and crying. I called my friend but she’s not home. No one ever around for me. This is why I’m glad I now have this place and hopefully it will help me out in these moments.

Ohh and I forgot, that is not all. I went to the store today as a client wanted me to go get something from there and of course, the manager asked me if I could close tonight. I can never go there and not be asked to work when I already worked all day at my main job. I said I couldn’t tonight cause I that time I still thought I was going out to eat with the neighbor which in the end she was too hungry and couldn’t wait for me to get home so she went out to her sister’s and ate there. If that’s the truth, I don’t know, but it’s the story she told me. Anyways, so yea.. I said I couldn’t tonight so then she asked me about tomorrow. I was like “I work till 8 tomorrow” so she was like “That’s OK, I just need you to come close up with the new supervisor to make sure she gets the paperwork done right”. ARG! Why do people just take freaking advantage of me. Of course, I’m stupid, I said yes. This just made me remember, once I asked a friend of mine why people didn’t really care about me and just took advantage of me. Her respond “you’re just so easy”. WHY?! I’m really starting to think that being nice really doesn’t bring you no where.

Now I really just want to sit here and cry. ='(  *listen to Time from Dean Brody, think about my dad, cry*


[10:03 pm]

I just finished talking with my friend so I feel better now. We talked about me wanting to bring my mom spend a night in a jail cell and me wanting to bring her too. I’m all excited now cause I really, REALLY want to go. It sounds so awesome! I hope we can go in a few weeks when my mom comes over.

I also just talked to hub and he said he was gonna try his best to start and clean the suggies kitchen which I really hope he will do cause I’d appreciate the help. That said, I feel better than I did a few hours ago. Now time to shower and get that hair cleaned up although I hate washing my hair cause I need to take the time to straighten them the next morning AND I lose some of the color each time and it’s starting to be bleh. If only dying your hair wasn’t so expensive, I could go more often and always have nice looking hair. Oh well.. people still tells me they love my hair which is one thing that always makes me happy. Getting a dollar for each time someone says it would be nice. Haha! I could be paying off my color with that money as there’s always someone telling me that they like the color of my hair which is purple and teal with some blue and pink. =D




Leave a Comment: