just thoughts

i can’t stop thinking of past relationships and it sucks aha let start off with my first his name joker#1 i was in the 5 or 6th grade i had this major crush on him no k=joke like any girl would he was hispanic and he was dreamy black short hair with brown eyes i melted over him anyways my new found friend at that time found out and she hooked us up together but it was my first bf ..ever it didnt turn out right at the end..but whatever moving one joker#2 i had moved to to the country my foster mom’s friend had this boy he was sweet and cute in an ugly kind of way ig he was a bit overweight but ayye people have worse flaws but anyways we were helping my moms friend move some stuff out of a building my brother decided to hook us up together not sure if this guy actually liked me i just went with it..we kissed and what not it wasnt sparky or anything.. after awhile we just went our seperate ways im not really sure what happend to be honest with you. joker#3 i explained in the journal entry labeled JOKER …joker#4 he was this blue eyed snake. he had dirty blonde hair everything! we met  at his mothers wedding thing i was the camera girl you know the one that records everything dances etc anyways i was recording him and his ma dancing he saw me with the camera and laughed and pointed at me i just smiled and kept recording he came and sat with me afterwards and we did some small talk until i walked myself out to a bunch of tables in the dark he followed and he was messing around we talked for what seemed hrs but in reality it was like an hr or so we talked about music and everything we were interested in it was an awesome feeling of butterflys he made my heart flip in circles he kept lightly touching my skin whenever he could his sisters were mad at him cuz i was 17 and he was 19 -20 oh well lol i was having fun i dont think we kissed that night it was awhile before we did that but either way i found myself messaging him all the time i was mad crazy in love for him he seemed pretty happy himself until his past seemed to end up in my inbox …i was so crushed i died inside i cried for a long time but we soon made up he was like a fairytale prince guys. or like the human peter pan. his sister ruined it she told him i stole from her and who knows what else! he broke up with me over facebook! some gentleman he was! god what i’d do to get him back though but that wont happen. ever. moving on joker#5 he was just a fling after the snake like a fuck buddy he was like mm a stoner looking dude (he was) he was exciting a bit chubby but thats alright we did somethings i dont regret he was a rainbow after a thunderstorm we went our seperate ways though we never really called anything off …joker#6 i met him at school he was an old new student we kinda sorta met through some friends of mine he was super skinny black haired brown eye really white hispanic lol he had this geeky look to him i was attracted a lil bit aha we connected over an art class outside he was interesting to talk to eventually after a couple days we hooked up i met his mom and sister and baby brother they were great ..but i noticed his ma was a bit overprotective and bossy ..we had the usual relationship flow nothing really exciting ..he got jealous of my past relationship cuz jpker#5 popped back up in my inbox..we got into a big argument he um..he thought locking me in my brothers room and forcing me to have sex with him was the best way to solve this problem….i ended it. joker #7 he was my sexting friend between joker #5 and 6 and i met him through my moms friend ..he is cute beard and all i fell almost as hard as i did with the blue eyed snake, almost. he was like my best friend though ..we are still together , yep. he had a problem with his ex though she was a skank and im not saying that just cuz she is his ex but im legit shes a town whore ..i hate her with a passion. i got involved i shouldnt have but i did cuz he was hurting real bad so i became fuck buddies with him to make him more happier we eventually hooked up ..hes great no problems except porn ..porn has became an issue with him. anyways ttyl random person who might be reading this. 

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