I forgot how to like someone

I was telling my co-workers during lunch today, that it’s been a very long time since I’ve liked someone.

One co-worker said, “What about the cute students you said you like?” By students, she means of legal drinking age, there’s are “students” getting their DMDs.

“Those are just little cute crushes. I’m talking about actually liking a person.” I replied.

If I am remembering correctly my last like was the second love of my life. He was a special person, of course it did not work out, but I cherish the relationship we had. I learned a lot from it, and at times I regret letting him go; then I remind myself I don’t deserve him. That sounds like a negative, so I should rephrase that, because I do deserve that kind of love, now. When we we together, we had our ups and downs, that’s normal. But I felt at that time, his world revolved around me. He was sweet, respectful, trustworthy, honest, and he showed his vulnerability to me. And he loved me, and I loved him. It was sweet and simple. But coming from a broken home, and having broken relationships, I didn’t know what I had. It didn’t feel right, without the drama, the chaos, my heart aching. I felt that if I broke up with him, his life would fall apart, I didn’t want to take that responsibility. Not that he was a bum, he held a job, had a car. We had our own apartment, but it was a feeling I could not shake. I ended up moving to Florida for school, we tried the long distance, but that didn’t work. Long story short he went into the Army, I was selfish, and didn’t see what he needed. It took 4 yrs for me to get over him, we eventually were in the same State again, but we couldn’t turn back time. There had been too much time and space between us, that we no longer could find our way back to each other.

From Andrew, I learn how to continue loving someone conditionally even after the break up. It’s not in a romantic way, but just Love. And he now is in a great relationship, we don’t speak to one another, but social media keeps us up to date with one another. I found my self smiling, and feeling true happiness towards him when I saw him being so happy looking.

I think I got side tracked there, I was talking about liking someone, or something like that. Andrew was the last person I truly liked on my own, without any influence. I just saw him one day playing basketball, and somehow he came into my life. Now a days, I talk/text people, but that Like feeling is not there. It’s an odd feeling wanting to like someone, and being able to get to know this person, but I don’t want to move towards anything. As the Korean drama’s would describe it as One-sided Love. LOL. Silly me, why would someone want this. Maybe it’s just a reminder, and Ode to the high school days. When making a new friend was easy, and friendship blossomed into something beautiful. 

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