The aftermath…

Incident = 02/07/2017

This has been the longest week for our families record. A week without speaking to my kids is particularly painful. Previously I would get the occasional text/emoji just to say hi..and understandably nothing (as we’ve been told no direct contact following the incident on Sunday).

Now we are at the mercy of Social services, schools and the police.  We hold out the hope that most people think we are decent/normal parents and I’ve just had some kind of momentary loss of control (trying to avoid saying mental episode). 

So this week has been very slow – information comes in bursts and then silence for days.  Social services had to re-schedule first meeting because the hospital in question who performed a “body check..?” on my son lost the report – my wife as she’s super switched on remembered the Drs name and informed social services to ensure the report was produced at the earliest opportunity.

Meanwhile – my mum has been informed. She has without question been remarkable.  Ann (my wife) has been to Hell and back this week and without me to lean on.  Mum has been ace – no judgement – even though its pretty obvious who is at fault.

The week I’ve spent away has given me time to re-evaluate what I/we have and that is pretty much brilliant kids, a lovely life and great friends – who have helped Ann no-end and also shown an understanding of how we have got here…

Basically for no justifiable reason no matter how well my son performs it turns out I’m always looking for the bad. This has affected my son and our relationship over a number of years – I want to change from/to the following:

Dad now: painful, picky, authoritarian, violent

Dad going forward: supportive, appreciative,loving, caring and protective

I cannot understand how I’ve ended up here. Joe brings me so much joy but due to circumstances beyond my control/understanding I’ve been focusing on the negative for quite a long time.  This is not healthy for any member of our family.

Ann as usual has been amazing – don’t know sometimes how she copes with us all.

Tomorrow is when I am told if I am allowed home or what kind of visiting rights I have to my children (sigh) but I understand this situation is of my making so short term pain the least of my concerns – Joe is now central.

I also get interviewed by the police tomorrow. This is a voluntary interview under caution – new terriatory for me.

 We also have my daughters emotions to contend with.  She saw the whole episode and now feels like she needs to pick a side…daddy or Jack – which is clearly not right.

I hold out the hope that we get through this troubling time and this speck or grit in our otherwise smooth running family engine can be erradicated before any further damange occurs.

Night from Bad dad

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