I feel weird today. I feel sad from the inside, I don’t know how to explain it. Mentally I’m OK but it’s my body that feels the sadness. My stomach a little bleh right now and I was feeling like that when I was still trying to sleep.
Last night when I had talked to hub I told him I wanted him to come see me when he’d get home. Of course he didn’t which is fine cause I was in the bedroom reading but I then went to see him and told him I had asked of him to come see me when he’d get home. He said he thought I was sleeping, excuses. Anyways, he had just started a game so bleh, I figured he’d come after but he never did and I had a few things to talk about so that is prob why I feel crappy right now cause we didn’t get to talk. That also made me feel like, I don’t know.. After hearing that the neighbors are separating I started questioning my own relationship as I don’t want to get there. Me and hub don’t spend that much time together because of our work schedule which is starting to be a pain. It was nice for a few weeks as he was working day time but they changed him to 4-12 which is worse than when he was working over night. He asked me what shift I wanted him to take when he gets a new one in a few months and I think I will ask him to go back day time. He never used to do day cause it was too hard for him, he had tried when I had asked him to change, so I rather him work over night than not at all so I dealt with it. Now he got a supervisor position so I don’t think day time bothers him. He would be making more money over night but we’d get more chance to spend time together if he goes day time. At this point I’d rather have a little more time with him. It just sucks that he got this shitty shift for the summer cause I really wanted to go camping this year. I am a workaholic and will rarely take a day off but I had told myself I would take time to go camping at least once a month. I’m pretty sure I deserve it but guess it won’t happen cause of hub stupid shift right now where he only gets off work at midnight.
Blah, blah and more blah. The store called me today and they wanted me to go in tomorrow night instead of tonight. I said no this time. I feel bad cause the other guy will have to work all day but the kids are coming to town and I haven’t seen them in 2 months so I want to spend some time with them. Good thing about the call, looks like I don’t have to go in tonight AND my client of tomorrow already cancelled so I can sleep in tomorrow morning. Bad thing, she already also cancelled me for next week so I’m losing 4 hrs and I hate losing hours. I also got my paycheck and it looks like I’m missing some mileage which I hate when it happens cause I hate bugging the office for that but it’s like $12 so yea, I want my money.
Oh yea, I forgot to mention earlier that hub cleaned the suggies kitchen before going to bed so I was really happy about that this morning. I hope he keeps it up. He had ordered tags online and has been waiting for them for a while which actually came in yesterday but I was pissed at him so I didn’t give them to him and hide them. Now I’m wondering if I should give them or keep them until I see that he is indeed taking the time to clean the kitchen. I feel like I’m doing like I’d be doing with a kid but yea.. I think there’s 50 tags so I thought about giving him one each day he cleans the kitchen so I’d be covered for like 2 months. Haha! Again, feel like I’m dealing with a kid.