My Life – A Quick Backstory

The main obstacle in my life right now is agoraphobia (which means I never leave the house), paired with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. I’ve dealt with this since I was exactly 9 years old (I even remember the month when I had my first panic attack.)

At aged 13, things got progressively worse. I was diagnosed with depression, I left school (I didn’t get home-schooled until years later), I began cutting and had suicidal thoughts. I was at the worst point in my life and I felt helpless and utterly lonely. I could still leave the house for my weekly therapy sessions, however that’s all I left for. When standard therapy sessions proved useless, I tried hypnotherapy sessions instead (which also didn’t work). 

By the time I was 14-15, I was mildly better. I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts, but became more closed off from everyone and spent more time alone in my room, drawing all day (it was around this time in which I was discovering my artistic abilities.) Just a month or two before my 16th birthday, I began being home-schooled.

From ages 16-18, things were blurry. I can’t recall too much. I had to take my GCSE’s at 16 (and failed all subjects apart from English). I had dreams of going to college, specifically art colleges but backed out of the idea since it seemed like it would be too much for me to handle. I tried to give therapy another try, this time CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) since it’s supposed to be pretty effective, but it didn’t work. 

Now, at aged 20, I’m still the same although I can safely say I’m not as depressed anymore. I stopped cutting at 17 (just for clarification). 

Right now I haven’t left the house in months, I’ve never had a job or a relationship. My life is vastly empty however I somewhow try to deal with it in the best way I can. I like to see the good things in life and I try to compromise with my situation. My life as of right now comprises of art (in all forms) and music. 

 

3 thoughts on “My Life – A Quick Backstory”

  1. Hey, I can not say I can relate but I do understand, If you ver need someone to talk to ..I’m up all the time I’m always looking for new friends to talk too..or i also just listen.

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