I’ve been having trouble sleeping. When I decide to go to sleep, I usually roll im the heat of my bed for some time, distracted by either my phone, or my thoughts. Once I do fall asleep, I have nightmares. Every night this week, except for Friday, I’ve had a nightmare. They’re not quite scary, they’re bizarre and make no sense. I do wake up in sweat and disturbed, though.
To the people reading this diary, it may see like I only go through bad times in my life. That’s not true, the thing is when I feel like nothing’s going right, I turn to writing. Even with my sometimes cold friends, my insecurities, my obnoxious mum, and the annoying people at school, I love my life. I really do. I’ve got the opportunities some people could only dream of. I’m healthy (except for my everlasting acne and braces situation), I’m not poor, I don’t have difficulties learning, I’ve got access to power, food, water, the Internet, music, books, makeup, clothes, sports. . .
I’ve been running lately. My average distance is 5 km in 45 minutes. I run in sets: 2, 3, or 4 minutes running – 2 or 3 minutes walking. I hate running, especially in this weather, but there’s just something about that moment when you feel your chest, thighs, and stomach covered in sweat that makes you feel strong. There’s something about that notion that you’re capable of running for 4 minutes without getting out of breath that I like.