An image amid my office floor, while emotionally rummagin’, for a writin’ session…
On the way home, I remarked (to myself) that it does n’t really matter at this point. What I’ll say, who I’ll say it to, how it’ll feel (or land). It does n’t matter much anymore.
While at the gym, I told someone, that there are seemingly guides, angels, or aliens around me, that refuse to let anyone get too close to me. Like, most of the women I hook up with, are so, here intensely, & then, gone…
Gone Away by H.E.R.
I’ll start my affirmations after I reflect a bit here. My life has made it pretty much a necessity, to expend here. My life? It’s pretty f***** up, and I’m embracin’ the realization of this. But, I also remember that things can always be worse, than what they are (despite how f***** they actually are).
I’ve got a lot goin’ on in my life right, while I try to figure out how I’m still holdin’ even that, back. I’m a figure outter. Give me time, and I’ll figure anything out. I dunno, I jus believe in myself like that. The answers, to all questions can be found within. It just matters how deep you’re willing go, to look for it…
Tonight, I posted on my Snap that I was taking time away, for personal space. Maybe there are already too many women, and I’m just getting proportioned up for even more. Maybe the seemingly unreturned text, was the ending of what I thought was a beginning. Maybe I did screw up another relationship, before it was able to begin. Maybe that beauty I connected with today, is a repeat of nearly every woman I’m with…Who knows?
Honestly, I don’t know about too much of anything anymore…except, everything is movement. You have to keep moving; it’s all energy. (Like the reality, that everyday someone in front of me, fights really hard to make him or herself, feel assured about their own relationships, by way of shieldin’ me away from it. They’re really kinda foolish, cuz I’m sorta not allowed, to truly go in on it, like I trilly could. Or, I jus truly choose not to. Then again, why waste my time?) Real talk, I have several goals I’m close to meetin’, while makin’ new ones to cultivate & achieve. As long as I don’t stop, I’m good with it.
Since Way Back by Drake & PARTYNEXTDOOR