My big secret *warning* some might not like

So I’m not proud of whatever you call this obsession ig u can call it ..i love compliments..and i love to seek satisfaction from the people i try to please if I don’t see that they are happy or pleased I get dark and question myself..”what am i doing wrong” etc etc..especially during sex..i get off on their happiness makes me go insane I love to help others but i have to do it perfectly down to a T or it breaks my confidence and i get really really quite and overthink it..I hate that this is my everyday problem ..I shouldn’t be even worrying about this but I do and its apart of me and I want it to go away but ..its stuck with me..Please no rude comments I just wanted to write it out its been eating at me that I am like this..sighs… sorry if this disgusts anyone. my ex he did kinda molded me into what i am today ..i can’t make it go away 🙁

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