Going back 6 years

 Day two

6 years ago is when it all started. I remember the night like it was yesterday. I got the call from my mom that they found something in daddy’s kidney and that they don’t know what it is but they admitted him in to the hospital and doing further testing. I cried I don’t think at that time I cried as hard as I did that day. The next day I got up went to work with tears.  I told my boss that I was leaving at 9 when the last person who was in and heading to the hospital. So I left I get there and they still had no news besides he is on pain meds because he is in ALOT of pain. So okay. So the next few days I went to work I had important things I needed to get done. Yes even at a Childcare center I had stuff that had deadlines. Every day after work I went up and sat with him. Weekends I would get up and sat with him didn’t care. He was my daddy and I was going to be there for him. So finally the following week after they did all the testing and stuff they diagnose him with stage 4 kidney cancer. My life changed. My whole families life changed nobody could tell me any differently than he has a long road ahead of him. So again I went back to work. Had to keep going right? Well got off work again went to visit him walked in and he said Surgery at 6 am they were going in to remove it.  The cancer didn’t spread but before it did they wanted it out.  They said with the size of the tumor that it was there for at least 15 years and nobody knew he was the typical guy he didn’t go to the doctor so nobody would of known but he knew something was wrong around the time I got married that year. But he played it off that it was just nerves because I was the baby and he was going to miss me. We didn’t know that it was cancer. So I called my work and told them I was not coming in the following day because he was having surgery and I was going to be there. So I get to the hospital and they said it has been pushed back till 9 am so I crawled on the couch and went to sleep so I get up and they said it was pushed back till 12 so my mom, sister goes and gets lunch we get back and they said it was pushed back to 3. You can tell he was going annoyed finally 6 pm comes and they come in and said lets go we are ready.  So it was about a 2 hour surgery. So we give our kisses and we go to the waiting room. We sat there and sat there finally they come out to get us. They said it was removed he is in recovery and he has a bad mouth. LOL he cant do sleepy meds. So they said to go up to his room and he will be back up in an hour. So we collect all our stuff and we go up to the room. He comes up and he ask what happen.  I said you got your kidney taken out. he was mad he said he wanted it back in and I said no you don’t want it back in because it had cancer in it and if you kept it in you would have more issues than what we wanted. He broke down. He finally calmed down we all left I went back to work. He came home the following week. He got back on his feet and he was off doing what he wanted. Well that January/February found out I was pregnant with my first baby. He was so excited the whole family was excited but you can tell he was excited. He had two other babies but he was just excited. Six weeks into my pregnancy I started bleeding went to the hospital and they were saying miscarriage and I lost it. After I finally got into contact with people my parents came running. He brought me a milkshake and just sat with me. Well yeah he sat with me but slept most of the time. Which was really really odd. Something wasn’t right. Yeah he was working at a post office and that was a physical job but to sleep all the time was odd. So he just played it off as getting back into the swing of working and that a few months prior he got his kidney remove. So in the long run I didn’t have miscarriage and that I have a healthy 4 year old. Well when I had my daughter in November she had to spend 3 days in the nicu for breathing issues, jaundice and a blood infection. Well that same week he was going for his 1 year 3 month check up to make sure the cancer was still gone. So we get home and a few days later he called me.  They found something. He was so upset he was crying I don’t want to go I have my boys and now I have my girl and I cant leave them Im not going to leave them. So he went to the doctors and they said that he had lymphoma he was going to start on chemo on January 1 2013. We were scared we were hopeful we trusted the doctors at the time. During 6 months of chemo only thing he had an issue was was that he lost ALL his hair. He worked full time and he got to see his baby girl do her first roll from her belly and back. So he knew it was going to be a great year. Well he finished up treatments and they told him he was CANCER FREE…We were so excited. We had a party. As we lived with the term cancer we were a cancer family. We stuck together but mostly we stuck with him. So another year came and he had his doctors appointment well the cancer came back but it was dormant in the lymph nodes. Well it broke our hearts so back on the maintence treatments twice a month so he went through them like a champ. He was doing those all the way up to September of 2016 that’s when things started to go down hill. He had to stop working he basically was stuck in the house he couldn’t do anything. He was diagnose with stage four cancer once again in the kidney and lymphoa so again we became his cheerleaders. He had his boys and now two girls. He was in heaven he loved these kids so much. He was again in a lot of pain we just stood by him we don’t know what cancer patients go through but we knew that we could stand by him and help him through all of this.  After fighting with doctors and insurances he was finally able to start chemo the end of October. Again he was a champ he did get until april of this year. At first they said that it was shrinking it went from a 5.5 cm to a 4.5 cm. They said its not curable but it  manageable so we were all optimistically about it. Well in april they said it grew from a 4.5 to a 6.5cm he was heart broken by it. So then they switched him to a new chemo therapy two times a month and he had to go to the hospital to do it. So off he went. When he first started this chemo he was doing great he was out doing stuff he was back to the person we all missed.  well that last maybe a week. After that it went down hill. He went to his second round but the doctor that we trusted said it may get worst before it gets better so okay. Well he had a baseball side tumor on he side of his neck next to his esophagus and that’s where it started to begin with. So okay well than he developed a blood clot in his lung so he was started on blood thinners. Well over memorial day weekend he was so weak that he was admitted into the hospital he was bleeding from somewhere but they couldn’t figured out where. So he had NO BLOOD he had three blood transfusions his numbers looked great he got out and we went home. So everything was going great. Well because of how he was I would go over and spend a few hours at night with him when my mom would work nights.  Just so that he wasn’t there all by him self all the time. So the week of fathers day I was over and I said to him come on lets get up and you can sit in your chair. So he did. I was getting ready to leave a few hours later and my mom called well he decided that he was going to get up him self. Well he fell. I couldn’t get him up so I called my bro in law and he came to help me. So the next day was fathers day so I went over and spent some time with him while my mom was at work well so did my sister, bro in law and nephews. So we told him he had to go downstairs because he had chemo the next day. So we got him downstairs he was sitting in the chair and all of us busted butt and cleaned the whole house. So that my mom didn’t have to worry about it. Well he was sitting in the chair well we couldn’t get him up. Im like well you cant sit here all night till my husband got there in the morning. I was getting frusterated he was also. I wanted to get home because I was tired I was there all day and I didn’t want to be there till 10 pm like I was the night before. So my husband packed the girls up and came to help. Got him right up and back to bed. So we left and went home. The next morning my husband gets up and goes to my parents house to help my mom get my dad in the car so he can do his chemo. Well I get call from him around 8am telling me he is on his way home get up and get ready they just transported him to the emergency room. So I get up and it was the longest 20 minutes ever well he gets home and I run out the door. Basically his blood pressure bottom out fighting an infection and fighting the cancer. So his poor body was working harder than it should be. Well then they said they were admitting him and he said no he wanted to go home. Well they said no because of his blood pressure. So they put him in the icu and he went nuts. They kept saying he was getting better his kidney numbers were improving and that he will be switched to an step down unit in a few days. Okay awesome. Well now they are bringing in hospice care and im like wait a second you all said he was doing great and now hospice. They said he was doing great but to help him build his strength up he would need the help. Okay fine. So on the Friday before he died they asked him do you want to be reinstated he said yes than on the mondy before he died he said no did not want to be resistated at that point I knew something was wrong. So back track to Friday he bought a car for my mom in the icu yup you read it he bought a car in the icu for my mom. After she signed the papers on Saturday you can so tell the stress has been lifted. We all walked in on sunday and was like what the hell happen he wasn’t him self. So again they said he was fine but just a little delusional because of being in the hospital.  So okay fine. Now im going to skip to Wednesday the day before he died. Im going to end this here and finish it up later. Thanks for reading

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