not crying.



im just so hurt right now. i cant believe he left me. who the fuck does he think he is? i am not going to cry over him. im not doing this shit. 

if im just too much for him, then ………. fuck it. 
im not crying. i will not fucking cry. 

im not going to spend my summer being a fucking heartbroken mess. i might be heartbroken but im not broken. im just going to let it go. and im doing to do whatever the fuck i want. and put myself first. 

………but who the fuck does he think he is?????????????????? 
i love him and he just left me here in love with him, begging him. im so fucking hurt. im so fucking hurt. and its just pissing me off. like, i fucking accepted him for who is, and i never once looked down on him. and he couldn’t accept me? i do regret going off on him in the end but it had built up for so long that he kept throwing it at me. 

im hurt, im so fucking hurt. but it is what it is. 

i was thinking about going home to colorado, but i kind of want to get as far away from here as possible. brielle wants to go to st.tropez and party over there. my aunt is encouraging me to travel for the summer so i can keep ashton out of my mind and take a vacation with brielle. we’re leaving friday. 


i dont know who the fuck he thinks i am. to leave me behind, in love with him. 


fuck it.

im letting it go.

im not crying. 

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