the great manipulater & liar

My step-daughter is a manipulator; and she’s really good at it.

She is also really good at lying as well and the things she figures to lie about can be quite stupid.  Most times she lies about “big things” but sometimes what they are over is so damned insignificant, why not tell the truth?

She’s also an addict, I believe she’s addicted to crack but I’m not too sure on that one.  Fact is, she’s so badly addicted that getting stoned seems to be more important than her own kids.  But, well, fact is, they’ve always seemed to be in second place.  She likes a certain breed of dog, and truthfully her damn dogs are more important than her kids.

Not long ago, she had her children taken away by CPS, put in foster care for almost a month, so she could get clean.  Well like a lot of addicts, she went and backslid a bit…but she did end up getting her kids.  Oh, then, well, for some odd reason, which she wants to lie about, she got stoned.  The CPS people made one of their random “at home,” drug tests and it showed she had used crack.

Now she and her fuckwit, useless husband {I’ll write about him later} are having to go into a three-month, in-house rehab.  Finally she is going into a residential rehab site, which she needed to do from the get-go; her husband is having to go too but they’ll go to different sites.  Then comes the really interesting thing: they found a place for them to go…and then…stoned out of her empty head, she calls her mother in a hysterical way, insisting that she takes care of her dog.

She wanted her to spend three months in her house, to take care of the dog. Why pay rent where we’re at, and instead of staying here, go off to stay in her daughter’s house?  Stupid.  Her mother said “no,” and the girl {whose about twenty-eight or so but acts more like an immature twit} went totally off the beam wacko hysterical.  “If you love me…” bla bla bla…and then ranted about when she was a kid, that her mommy was never there {she had to work, you empty-headed twit}…she had to do the adult thing, so as to afford to raise, house and buy groceries.  But none of that mattered.

She told her mom that she was no longer her mother.  She also ranted that “nobody ever helped me…” which was a total lie and everybody concerned knows that, hell, even she knows that’s a lie.

Well the daughter did just about everything an addict would do, all the way to the most basic of escapes; putting the blame on everything that’s gone bad onto other people, specifically her mother.

The number one thing an addict will do is to dump their responsibility of being an addict onto other people.  It is other people who hold the responsibility for her being a crack addict; as if that is the biggest truth in the world.  Nope that’s the biggest lie in her world.

My wife, unable to stand the hysterical bullshit and rants, simply hung up on her.  I’ve found that when people are going fucked-up hysterics on the phone, the best thing to do is hang up.  Oh, don’t answer the phone if they call back, first they will cuss you out for the hang up and then blame you for whatever else.

Long experience cut down: she finally decided to ask Aunt H {who we live with and pay rent} if she could leave this expensive dog there while she’s at the rehab site.  Like the mush-head she is, who does things sometimes without thinking about it, or in fear that the person won’t like her anymore, she went and agreed.  Of course she isn’t gonna take care of the damned dog, my wife and I will end up doing that.

I’ve been a witness to the manipulation for something like twelve years, I’ve heard stupid lies to cover stupid shit, when the truth would be better to tell, I’ve heard big lies used to cover herself…and have seen full responsibility for what this girl does, shoved onto other people.

I have no idea what she’s gonna do when, at the end, she wants to go and shove full responsibility for all of her fucked up life onto other people.

Now see, this whole responsibility thing is kinda like a paradox.

Sometimes other people share in the responsibility;  but even here, she shoves her portion of it on the other person.

It’s as if she is totally innocent of everything bad she does, or on the decisions she makes which are bad—anything and everything that is bad in her life, she shoves the responsibility onto others.

So, with the manipulation and lies; this girl is totally fucked up.

It is my hope that the three months in a residential rehab site will work for her, but see, she has to work on her recovery, nobody else can do it for her. I don’t think she’s accepted the concept anyway; if she’s shoving all of her own addiction problems onto elsewhom—instead of 100% on herself where it belongs—she will never get better and get herself into recovery.

I don’t believe I’m being narrow-minded or cruel, or whatever else when it comes to this, and her.  I am being pragmatic, rational and doubtful simply because of her past actions and her quick-to-toss all responsibility onto other people.

The fact is, the first thing she’s gonna have to do will be one of the hardest things for her to do: look herself in the mirror and say—“I am an addict, I became one because of what I did, I accept full responsibility for my actions and I need help.”

Honestly, sorrowfully, I don’t see that happening, based on all of the experiences I’ve been through with her.  I’m not saying she is totally lost, i am saying she is lost until she accepts responsibility for her actions, and the bad decisions she made…and to quit lying, basically to herself…and quit the lies she tells to other people.

I totally wish her luck, it will be a very rough road ahead of her, she will have to deal with her addictions and desire for crack on a daily basis; but one of the largest speedbumps in her recovery is that she’s weak.  She is emotionally weak, she hates herself {though she will say she doesn’t} so much that she has to, on a daily basis, lie just about on everything.

She needs to put family ahead of her husband, ahead of her dog, ahead of her addictions; she needs to put her children in the number one spot of her life and realize that what she does affects them too.  It’s like the theory on the concept of “for every action there is a reaction,” or like, “for every cause there is a effect…” and quit being like so many other people and thinking that bad decisions or whatever else in life, only affects them and nobody else.

I am hoping she will come out of this ahead, out front and able to continue on with a life in recovery, however there’s so many things about herself that she has to face, accept and admit 100% responsibility for. 

copyright © 2017 Curmudgeon

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