#1-Holding everything together.

     Lately it feels like I’ve been the only one holding my mom together. She has a bad past, one that affects her massively. Yesterday she cried while ranting over her recent issues with my grandfather(her father). He used to abuse her as a child, and now that we decided he’s to move in, having him around has triggered flashbacks, anger, and set her off. My grandfather never contacts us and recently showed up announcing he has cancer and he’s used my mother as transportation everyday for the last two months to his treatments.

     She chooses to deal with him and his recently controlling behavior, even if common sense seems to tell me that my grandfather should really have nothing to do with us. He doesn’t respect women and expects me to have kids soon(I’m only sixteen). He got very offended when my father jokingly said I couldn’t date until I’m 35.He doesn’t respect my mother at all and just tells her to take good care of his son-in-law. Women are simple breeding machines to him, and I don’t expect years to separate this sort of idea from his mind.She doesn’t have common sense at all is what I feel. She never takes my advice. She can’t get stressed since she has high blood pressure and her shingles will erupt in an outbreak. She only cares for him because we are related by blood to him. Among the numerous offensive and rude comments he makes to her, I’m surprised she hasn’t  dropped him. She just chooses to deal with him when he clearly doesn’t know his place and has zero respect for her.

To make matters worse, my father never tries to soothe her rants or venting. He has zero idea how to deal with it or help her, so I’m stuck with it. 

But sometimes it feels like I’ll fall apart trying to keep her happy.

Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one trying to keep her happy or do anything to make her feel better.

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