Friday July 14th

I worked on my storage all day yesterday and I’ve been doing that today, too. My back is hurting from sitting in the floor. Ugh. I just have so much crap. I’m struggling to decide what to do with some of it. I have taken 2 loads to goodwill and a load to the teacher resource center and I’ve almost filled up Brent’s recycling bin. I know I am getting rid of shit, but I still have so much! I want to live in a tiny house, or tiny apartment right now, and I have so much crap. This is exhausting. It’s tedious, backbreaking and exhausting. 

Later, that same day…

It’s 7:09pm. I am starting to feel bad. Anxious. Panicky. I am washing Noah’s sheets. This house is a pig sty and my son lives here. I hate Brent so much right now. I really really hate him. He has literally hundreds of bottles of bourbon in this house. He’s always got to have something. Last year it was guns, he had to buy every fucking gun that exists, and now he’s pretending to be obsessed with bourbon and he’s bought a life time collection in a matter of months. I hate him so much. I hate him for being such an idiot. I hate him for just throwing away money on such stupid things. He can’t just go hunting or he can’t just drink bourbon. He has to go all the goddam way bat shit crazy. What the fuck is his mental illness? 

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