[15.1] ~*Sat – 07/15/17*~

[1:31 pm]

Bleh! That is all I wish I could say right now to explain everything. My body just feels so blah right now. I had a bad dream. My back hurts. I need to do my hair. Apparently the new PC isn’t working. The PC room is a mess. I really don’t want to see that stupid movie even though I’m paid for it. I just want to stay home, stay in bed. I almost feel like crying right now.

I’m writing while my straightener is heating up. I guess my hair isn’t that bad today and I could probably do it without but what the heck. I might change my mind from now to 5 mins and not do it cause I really don’t feel like doing it. I just feel like shit. My hair color is also horrible after this wash and I need to wait until the 24th do re-do it. Seem so very far.

Anyways, let’s start by the beginning. As I was trying to fall asleep last night I remembered that hub works earlier on Sat so I called him (too lazy to get out of bed and go see him) to remind him that he was working earlier as he was setting up the new PC and could of been up all night. He then told me that he was on the laptop trying to talk with support as it seem that the new PC doesn’t want to connect with the screen. That said, we can’t use the new PC. I already had a bad feeling about it last night when he was opening it and there we go. He normally always want to keep boxes and at some point we had so many everywhere in the house and in the baby barn so I got rid of everything and told him to stop hoarding boxes. This time, he told me I could get rid of the box so we gave it to the cats so they could play with it but I also told him while doing so that maybe we should keep it for a lil while just in case the PC wasn’t working. Blah!

That said, knowing that the PC wasn’t working, I knew he would of left the PC room in a mess so I wasn’t looking forward to coming in the PC room this morning. I mean, it’s not too too bad but to me it is. When things get misplaced, they need to be put back where they belong right away. I can’t leave a mess, it needs to be cleaned up. So yea, there’s paper, boxes and nails everywhere and it’s annoying the crap out of me right now. Only good thing, he did put the old old PC tower upstairs so I could bring it somewhere to dump it as it’s useless to keep it.

As always, I had planned to get up earlier but of course, I woke up and looked at the time, saw I could sleep more so I changed my alarm. I stayed in bed for a long time so now my back hurts and not just that, my body just feels wrong and I think it’s because of the bad dream I had. I dreamt that we were at the in-laws and we had to come back home but for some reason hub didn’t want to come back home. He just wanted to stay there and I really wanted to come back home and he told me to go alone which made me super sad cause he was acting like he didn’t want to come back home ever again. That was just weird and I know he wouldn’t want to move back at his parents so yea. Make no sense but it still made me feel super bad even when I woke up after that. The thing is, I dream a lot that hub doesn’t want me anymore. I do all I can but he just doesn’t want to stay with me. Not that he’s cheating or leaving me for someone else, he just doesn’t want me and it’s super annoying cause I have no dam clue why I always dream this. It makes me super super sad and I wish I could stop dreaming about it but I always do. I always tell him about it too and he says I’m silly. I just wish I’d know why I always dream this. Well, I know I’m insecure and always scare that he will leave me one day so maybe that’s why but gosh. We’ve been together for 17 yrs so you’d think I’d stop as he doesn’t give me any reason to think he’d want to leave. I’m a hard person to live with, I can admit that, so I’m sure if he wanted to leave he would of done so a very long time ago.

Man, this is bugging me. I sorta want to call in sick for work cause I really don’t feel like going out at all right now. With all honestly, I wish I could be with hub but he’s at work and will only be done at 8 pm so really, I’d be better to go to the movie than be home and think about stuff and see the mess in the PC room and want to clean it so bad but I’m not sure I should cause I’m not sure if hub needs to resend the PC yet. I think he emailed them to see what he could do. Looks like the motherboard doesn’t want to connect with the screen and I ain’t buying a new one as we bought this one in March. To think of it, new screen, new tower, new mouse.. the whole thing is new beside the keyboard which he did get one with the PC but I don’t like it. But yea, I wish we were going to a movie I wanted to see so then it would change my mind of of things but nope, it has to be a darn movie that I really REALLY don’t want to see and on top of things, it’s 2:30 long. Might as well shoot me already.

The guy from the jail hasn’t texted back yesterday to book the cells either. I will have to do that after the movie just in case we need to be on a call to do the booking. My friend hasn’t writing back either so I don’t know how she is. I know she’s been having problems with her PC so I’m not even sure she saw my email. Bleh!

Mom emailed me this morning and I knew right away that she wasn’t writing just to write. I knew someone from back home had been sick and she was emailing to say he passed last night. It’s sad.. seem a lot of people are passing in the last few years. I guess we are getting older and the people we know are too so we are getting to that place. Just last year I was so stressed out every time my mom would call cause I was waiting for “the call” as my dad had been sick for years. OK, I don’t feel like talking about this right now, maybe another day.

Guess I should get my ass in gear and get ready for that awesome movie. Not! I’ve been doing my hair back and forth between writing. I’m a pro at multitasking. Haha! Now I need to get dress and get going.





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