Fuck

It’s been weeks.  I guess that isn’t new at this point. I was on here religiously at one point and I can’t seem to bring myself to write either here or in my actual journal.  That sucks.
I mean I know my life is pointless, haha, but normally I have something to write whether it be good, bad or boring. 
Either way, It hasn’t been the greatest for me and my husband lately. I mean, not everyone gets along forever, but the stress of us trying to renovate the house makes me loathe him a lot lol.
He’s the type who will never ask for help, but will be pissed if he doesn’t get it. Like on thursday, I spent my whole day off watching him and helping clean up the yard while he was putting new insulation in the walls. He was getting pissed off because the siding didn’t want to do what it was supposed to.  I asked if he needed help and he Told me no, Just do what you’re doing.  So I went back to cleaning and then all a sudden I get yelled at for not helping him. 
Ugh. I hate him sometimes. Like…don’t fucking tell me you don’t need help after I offer and then expect me to help you after you told me no.  Just UGH.
Well whatever. I fucking went out to help him the rest of the way and then after he acted like everything was fine and he didn’t yell at me 20 minutes ago.
I’ll admit it, I’m a bitch. I hold grudges for awhile. So I was pissy with him and he couldn’t seem to understand why him saying one thing but expecting another from me was an issue. 
Whatever.  He took me out for ice cream after and I just decided to forget it.  I’m such a fatty.  Ended up with Chinese takeout too. Was pretty frickin excited about that lol 
BUT OMG, Friday morning around like 12:30ish. I woke up to pee and I was walking through the kitchen and all a sudden it sounded like someone was screaming in my back yard. Not even joking. I was like WTF WHO THE FUCK IS IN MY YARD.
Guess what it was. A fox. From what I read the female does the scream-call more than the male, but she/he scared the fuck out of me. She/he did it for a good hour. Ended up recording some of it.  
I’m glad they are back in the yard. I never see them anymore, but it was nice to hear one of them still around<3  I wanted to make Nathan build some sort of underground den thing for them to live in so year round they can stay, but I doubt they would. I’m pretty sure they are going to run out of food soon.  We only have so many bunnies and I haven’t seen any in weeks.   I know they travel to find food because I’ve seen the mom or dad running in the ditch five miles away headed toward home as I was coming home from work. 
I still feed them every now and then… I’m always afraid that is going to hurt them more than help them in case they get too use to it and then end up starving or the babies don’t fully learn to hunt because humans will help feed them.  Which..you know it would be awesome to have a pet fox. 
But I’ve noticed a lot that ever since they moved back into the yard, that I don’t get weird feelings in our yard anymore. I use to love being outside at night, but it got oddly creepy outside after a year of being there. Like I didn’t feel like I was by myself anymore and i just always felt uncomfortable, but then the foxes moved into the yard and then it was like it went away.   I mean, I didn’t feel uncomfortable when Blue was around.  Idk. Something about him and the foxes made if feel more safe, but then Blue died and it didn’t feel safe anymore. 
I would always hear knocking at my door before I would leave for work or in the middle of the night and obviously no one is going to be out at my house in the country. Foxes show up and it stops and the odd feelings went away. 
I don’t know, I just feel they need to be there and they would be safer in our yard anyway. <3  I’ll upload the video/recording. It’s pitch black but you hear it and me lol

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