[18.1] ~*Tue – 07/18/17*~

[9:38 pm]

Well, I guess I wasted my day away today. As I said earlier, I got out of bed super late with a sore back so I didn’t mow the lawn or vacuumed the carpets. We went out around 4:30 pm to get the car which I’m pissed at cause the servicing cost is $400. That is ridiculous! All that money and the only thing I got out of it is an oil change. The servicing was to check everything on the car to make sure it was all fine. Why so much money?! You’re just checking the freaking car, I’m not getting anything out of it. I pay less than that for new parts for the old car. It just got me super upset. Me and hub got a bit into it cause of it as he had first decided to just have the oil change and not the servicing cause it was too expensive but I had said that maybe we should be doing it cause I didn’t know if it was affecting the warranty or not so when he dropped the car this morning he told them to do the servicing. So he told me I keep changing my mind and that either way I wouldn’t of been happy with what he would of decided to do. Bleh! When we picked up the car I asked the guy if it would affect our warranty if ever we decided not to do the servicing cause you need to do it every so many months or mileage. He said no BUT if a part breaks and it could of been avoided by having the servicing done THEN maybe the piece wouldn’t pass on the warranty as it could of been avoided so basically he said it didn’t affect the warranty but it sorta does. More bleh! Just so much money in the past months, it’s gonna start stressing me out again very soon. I’m trying to tell myself that we were supposed to go camping each months of the summer and we haven’t so we haven’t spent that money so really it comes to the same but it’s annoying to spend money and not enjoy it. I’d rather spend it on camping.

After getting the car we went to my friend’s cause she was having problems with her PC and I wanted hub to check it but of course it seemed all fine when we were there. We stayed there until in-laws called so we would meet them at the buffet. Father-in-law bought a new boat so now I really want to go for a ride but we never have time to go over there as it’s 3 hrs away. Really, it’s me that doesn’t have the time as I only have a day off. I hope I can take a day in Aug so we can go at least once on the boat. The lil one still wanted me to come over after but I didn’t today cause it was late and I just didn’t feel like it as I’m on a lil depression because of the money and everything not working. Still no news for the door or the jail. I texted the guy earlier and hub left him a voicemail, still nothing. It’s starting to make me upset cause I really want to go and I was soo excited about it. The PC is still not working so hub called to try and have it shipped back to have it fix or get a new one. He’s waiting on a call back for that.

I gave him half of his tags earlier. He wasn’t pissed at me or anything for keeping them from him. He tried one and I had to ask if you could delete the amiibo from it and replace it with another one and he said yes so he deleted the one he had just put on but it seem like you can’t put another one on. That said, he wasted a tag cause of me. Bleh!

He hadn’t cleaned the suggies kitchen yet so I told him “By the way, the suggies kitchen’s still not clean.” he said he knew it and he’s doing it right now. I kinda feel bad.. I don’t know.

Like I said, I just feel a bit depressed right now because of everything but I know I shouldn’t cause it could be way worse. I just really don’t like when things drags on. I’m still also thinking about those windows that I need to paint the bottom of and buy curtains or something as I still haven’t put anything up cause I don’t want to make holes in my new casing. I also need to get some stuff to get the glue off of the windows cause the papers are still on them. Bleh! So many things to do and I just don’t do anything. I just want to run away for a month.

Also, mom-in-law wanted my old garden doors which are outside beside the baby barn. I thought that with them coming to town today I would get rid of them but of course not. They came with the SUV and not the truck so they can’t take them. I want them gone!

Sis also dropped a bomb during supper. She said they were thinking of having another kid. That made me feel sad. When she was first pregnant I took it really hard which she doesn’t know about. It wasn’t fair! Her mom had been on my ass all the time saying I better be careful and not get pregnant as I was too young and there goes sis getting pregnant at 18 with a guy she had just met on the Net while all this time I already knew I couldn’t have kids but didn’t share it. So it was really hard. The second time I was OK with it. For some reason right now I’m not OK with her having another one. Just makes me sad all over again. She’s not even pregnant, she just said they had decided to try for another one and she was all excited about it. She should know better than to share this with me. I know she’s excited but it hurts. I sorta made peace with my situation but I get my moments with it and tonight is one of them. I think the reason why I feel so bad is because she said she was hoping for a boy which she has two girls. Me and hub were always supposed to be the ones having the boy as his mom wanting a little him. This is making me feel like I failed my mother-in-law by not being able to give her a grandson or anything at all for the matter. I was thinking about adoption at some point but I know it wouldn’t be the same for my mother-in-law and she would probably not see it as her own grandchild. So very sad! We finally decided to accept our situation and just not have kids. Most of the time I’m OK with the decision but of course I get moments where I’m super sad about it. Especially when I see happy moments between mom and child. I see it and I know I will never have that.

Anyways, I start work at 10 am tomorrow instead of 1 pm so blah. It’s supposed to be hot tomorrow and I’ll be working all day. I also have laser tomorrow which is at 12:45 and I have a client at 1:00. I hope they guy isn’t late and that I can manage it. It’s already 10 pm and I should head to bed soon as I work earlier tomorrow but I really don’t feel like going to bed. I want to work on my farm which is gonna take me forever cause I want to redo it.

Note to self: Using a stylus to work on my farm makes it WAY easier. Still gonna take me ages to redo though. 




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