Constantly wanting to know what I mean to the next soul. and then it hit me I don’t mean shit to these mother fuckers . I’m a outlet to these niggas nothing more . I’m a good fuck on a rainy day maybe on a cloudy day . I’m not the first pick . Not the first call in the morning nor the last call at night . I’m a choice rarely wanted rarely craved for . My thoughts aren’t even heard nor considered. So I smarten up and play the hand YOU dealt me . Confused . Not by the least . I think I have it all sorted out . I’m not wanted. Wasn’t wanted in my lady relationship either . But I take what you hand me . The bullshit you spit out. I listen to the lies that part your lips . Even as I know these are lies I take them in as if it’s the truth . I listen to your every words I take notes even . I become passionate about everything your passionate I vibe with your vibes … I become your bitch . But get angry when you call me bitch . But your right I’m your bitch . Down to the last detail. I’ve forgotten better yet I never knew who I was … I try to listen to my god but I can’t hear him clear enough . I wish he could come a sit on my bed And help me understand this a little better . Still confused on what I’m asked for . I need the most guidance… the most

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