“okay”

my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now and everything seems to be “okay”

that seems to be the problem though, it’s just okay! i don’t know what is wrong with me. I think someone/something is telling me that he isn’t for me, but I don’t want to live with regrets. I truly don’t know what to do. I think the saddest part of this is that i love his family. I made so many memories with him in a  short span of time and I have created such an amazing bond with his family + dogs, as well. I don’t know if this is God telling me that I need to be more bold / more content, but, nonetheless, I am very bothered by it. I am jealous of those who are in a relationship where their boyfriend seem to care for them so much they’d go crazy if they lost ’em. I know he wouldn’t care as much if he lost me because he’ll find someone new. I truly don’t feel special and that’s really what’s hurting me. Not because of the idea of me not being special, but I seem to be okay with it. 

 

And it all comes down to things being “okay.” I don’t want to be just okay, I want to bet legitimately happy. I know that me gaining weight and not looking the way I want to look definitely has lowered my self esteem by a lot, but I know that I deserve the world. With him, though, I seem to be content with things. 

Am I suppose to be just content? Am I suppose to be just… okay?

3 thoughts on ““okay””

  1. Seems like things happen way too quick that the spark you two once had kind of died out. Have you tried changing up your routine? Not doing the same things over and over again? Never settle for an “okay” feeling, you’ll start to believe that it’s supposed to be that way when it really shouldn’t be.

  2. Maybe talk to him about how you feel about your relationship? Switch up what you guys do.. Do stuff he likes to do so he sees you care. Maybe that could change stuff.

  3. Try something new, something that you guys can bond over and enjoy together. After only 5 months things shouldn’t just be okay. If he is with you, its for a reason. He wouldn’t waste his time with something he wasn’t into. But also focus on you, making sure you love yourself and are taking care of yourself as well.

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