Feeling Lost without you

It’s been years. And each year, I go on without you. Another year pass and you aren’t here. It is supposed to get easier with time. Everyone said so. It does not get easier. It gets harder. The break downs are less but they are more intense. Every time something major happens, I don’t have you to tell. I don’t have your advice. I don’t have your sensibility. I. Don’t. Have. You. I feel lost. So lost. I am doing everything I said I would do, but I thought we would do this together. We were supposed to do this together. It just doesn’t feel the same without you. I avoid everything that has to do with you. I have to, or I might lose it. I moved away, not far but far enough. Still, I see connections to you everywhere. I just don’t understand. How do I let go? How do I move on? How do I become whole again? How do I stop feeling so lost without you?

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