Good Panic?

The wedding is on Saturday.  I’m really looking forward to it, but it’s nearly bankrupted me.  I’ve already had to take out a small loan, and I really hope I don’t need another.  She says that the last check I wrote will be the last one she needs from me, and I hope that it is.  I really hope it is.

I’ve worked hard this week.  I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since Saturday.  The pain in my side subsides a little each day.  But the anxiety panic monster still lingers; rears its head at the most unexpected moments.  Yesterday, I awoke in a panic because the thought struck me that I never changed my passport address.  When I went to look at my passport, I noticed that my address (current or otherwise) wasn’t even in it.  Sure wish I could stop doing these things to myself.

The folks at the office threw me a very nice send-off party with New York bagels, delicious muffins, and a nice card and bottle of wine for her and I.  It was really very thoughtful and I was touched.  

I really have been feeling better over the past few days, but sometimes I still get attacks that leave me struggling.  I suppose that’s life, though.  It’ll never be picture perfect.  We just have to do our best to make it from one day to the next, and our reward is the promise of a fresh start the next morning.  Each new day comes with a chance to make something right – It’s our job to figure out how we want to use that chance.  

How are you using yours?

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