Finally. A place to escape the world. A place to empty my mind. I did what I swore i wouldnt. Today…..i went back. I have so many questions and after almost 4 years im no where near an answer. As i go back and search endlessly i only see me. With every girl only me. I am the only one you ever noticed…but still. you failed me. im sitting here with so much to say but my heart and my mind are in knots. I feel the words in my throat, trying to push threw, trying to come out. I just cant. I cant. I know the truth and so do you….but even that you try to take from me. I cant understand how i am feeling. how i am living threw this. Im trying to give the world a chance. Im trying to give him a chance. You took all of this from me. My ability to trust, to love. You’ve left me empty. I feel like i am dead but still floating around. The only thing i can get true joy from is our daughter. I cant believe i went back today. I cant believe i am stuck here. I need to escape.