We are now right in the middle of the summerbreak. Lately I have been mostly hanging out with friends and stuff like that. It really sucks that me and my family dont have any special plans for the summer. As I am stuck here all of my friends are leaving one on one out on vacation or activities they are involved in. I on the other hand is just waiting for the summerbreak to pass faster so I can get back to school. Can’t say I’m a huge fan of school itself. It’s more like everyone is back when school starts. Friends are all around and school is basiclly the only thing that gives me something to do as my days pass. I wan’t to study for some reason too…
Also since my friends are very difficult to get in touch with lately, I have no other choice but to find something to do all by myself. Mostly I have been sitting alone by the river, og hanging around some kindergarden (mostly because Its free wifi). I could just sit home and waste my time on movies and games like I’ve done in the past summers. But I have changed alot and actually want to be outside. I love to be outside, maybe alittle to much. Also I love seeing all these strangers, and like waiting for stuff to happen. It’s kind of sad to be honest, I keep on waiting for people to come, I want to randomly meet someone and just like hang. But I can like sit at the same spot for hours upon hours without any luck. I sometimes even sit outside on rainy days in the cold waiting for something to happen or someone to come. Anything! Usually nothing ever does and It just ends up with me spending 5 hours alone by the river staring at the sky.
Also! Since I spend so much time by myself, I have also come to like improve myself? Does that make any sense? Like my style for example. I have always had an interessting sense of style, but never really botherd putting alot of effort into it. Now on the other hand, I have been using so so so much money on shopping that my parents are not exactly happy with it. But I have stopped, I have bought everything I need to improve my style and It is working as a success. Not only am I feeling alot more confident by putting more effort into what I wear: I also have the mindset “Dress to impress” or “Dress like your about to meet your future husband”. Which leeds to the next thing:
MY CRUSH!!! Or can I really say it’s a crush anymore? It’s just like, I have come to find out that this guy is not as interessted as I am in him. And I have come to terms with myself that I guess he is better off as just a friend and that I should find someone else to obsess over. Which I am working on. I think the only reason why I get so happy when he texts me is because I basiclly have no one else. I love his personality and all, but it is pretty clear we will just be friends. Nothing more. I feel like I could almost be a little sister to him: Even though I can be more mature than this guy at times.
Also, Chester Bennington died yesterday. I haven’t listend to Linkin Park for a while. But it is still extremly devestating as I basiclly grew up listening to them. Firstly because my parents and older siblings played them as I was younger and up through the years. But I mostly find this whole thing sad as hell, because his music was such a giant help to so many people. Music that saved lives, it is sad that we couldn’t return the favor. He was such a great guy aswell. A legend, I hope he gets one of those giant memorials: He deserves it.
Now Imma head off to wasting more time.