So I haven’t wrote in a while. Nothing else has been happening until last night. We were getting ready for bed with Danica and she turns around and asked me why her pop pop had to leave her. She just cried. She said she just misses him she misses everything about him. But mostly misses his squeezys. She also asked me what happen and I told her everything. I told her that he had cancer. She asked what that was and I said its a disease that makes you very sick. Some times you can get better which he did get better but other times you don’t get better and that is what happen. He fought a very long fight and he is so strong. He is the strongest thing that we will ever know. She laid in bed and just cried I just want my pop pop back please bring him back. The only thing I can say to her I wish I can I wish I can bring him back and help him more but I cant I really cant. But we can go and visit him and talk to him about whatever you want. But we can’t see him only in pictures. Only way we can see him is that way. I miss him so much he was amazing. She agreed to that she said mommy he was amazing because I was his best friend. He was my best friend I just want my best friend back. This whole conversation was so hard that I just couldn’t take it any more.
So tonight we go to my moms to hang out with her and the family. Well she had like 5 insurance papers from different company’s that needed to be filled out. So we got everything in order. Sticky notes on what needs to be done to get them mailed out. We got the big one filled out so that is the main thing. So now we just wait for the money. So when we left we were driving home and the girls were flipping out because there was a little fly in the car. Well we have been having A LOT of storms well the sky is all different colors. So we were driving and she goes mommy the sky is pink and im like yeah hunny it is and she goes do you know what that means and im like no what and she said it means love and I said okay and that pop pop is telling me that he loves me. she goes to the next color yellow and that means smile and that pop pop is smiling down on me. Than she goes mommy its blue that means pop pop is giving me a squeezy. I didn’t get upset at all until after she went to bed. I just cried and im so over that my four year old daughter has to have broken heart because of her best friend is gone.
Also when I was at my moms I was telling her why I was feeling guilty and she totally understands why I feel this way. and I just hate feeling this way.
Oh well I guess its time to go. We are heading to Kentucky tomorrow for the evening so hopefully it will be a good time. we are going to the aquiriam and then swimming. Danica is so happy I think this is the happiest shes been in a few weeks.