Previously hand-written on 5/19/17
Bad decisions are all I make. Everyone knows I can’t move forward or become better. I move backwards and become less.
Now I must suffer. As punishment. I don’t deserve a good life. That’s for smart and strong people. I am weak. I am stupid. I will wait for the inevitable lay-off and then kill myself.
Fuck this life.
My friends are only nice to me to make themselves feel better, to reach out to the “less fortunate.” That’s me – LESS THAN. As usual.
Everyone go away. I can’t go out and do anything anyway.
The rest of my life will be this. Alone. Lonely. Miserable.
What the fuck is the point of living? Everyone wants me to be miserable. Everyone is two-faced.