I don’t think I ever want to be in love again…I don’t want the pain or the hurt anymore. I don’t want the temporary happiness because that’s what it is TEMPORARY! Who would want that ! Who wants to know that when they enter into somthing that it’s all gonna crash and burn in the end…? What sane person would willing enter into that ? 


I fell once, I fell hard and fast and it felt like my whole world had stoped and time stood still…it was everything they described in the movies. It was the fire works and butterflies. It was earth shattering completely stupidly ridiculouse love. It scared the shit out of me…every single day for 3 years I was scared because I was so happy I was waiting for somthing to go wrong…how fucked up is that ! I was waiting for somthing to go wrong! Every fight every raised voice any tiny mishap I was expecting somthing terrible ! 

It did. It fell to shit after 3 years…he just stoped loving me. Just like that, out of nowhere for no good reason…that’s it… it didn’t matter about the last three years or the future we planed none of that mattered, because he just changed his mind. 

So now if people ask me “do I believe in love” I laugh  because love isn’t real. It’s temporary it’s a temporary peice of happiness that will come to and end. Being in love is like believeing in santa clause or the Easter bunny…neither are real, yet people still believe in them… they buy into the fantasy because it’s easier then realising that there is no such thing as santa clause, or the Easter bunny…Or LOVE 


2 thoughts on “Lost”

  1. I agree to the comment above ” you’re not alone”. Be strong. Please understand that relationships can go either way which is temp or last. The temp ones will help us grow into a better person and it is their lost.

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