You have been put in a difficult position. One that may steal your mind at day and your sleep at night. You are growing and changing into something new to you and to those around you. You have grown a more noticeable desire to discover, question and inquire. This development is universal yet incomprehensible to another if they have yet to experience it them self. Even then, if not directly involved, one may not fully understand the truth behind your actions or ways of thinking.
But I understand you. No matter which identity you cling to or which emotion is prominent, I understand you. I have spent thousands of hours unraveling the networks of your brain. Countless sleepless nights meditating on the motives of your heart.
You have been put in a difficult position. While bound to another whom you care for, you wished to explore yourself openly. And through the first analyzations, you hypothesized that your partner was not able to provide for you the things you felt you wanted or needed.
So you left.
You left me, but I am not angry. I acknowledge that everyone matures at different times and in different ways. That growth must include determining the healthy and destructive aspects of your life and handling them accordingly.
You left me, as I left you when I experienced the same wish to explore myself. Through my personal analysis, I speculated you could not provide for me what I wanted or truly needed. But through my discoveries, questionings and inquiries, I realized my hypothesis was wrong.
While my journey led back to you, I am aware that yours may not lead back to me.
If the opinion you held of me when you left me is the one you conclude to be true, I am glad you left. Through those thousands of hours and countless sleepless nights, I learned, not only how fair your desire for self identification is, but how strongly I wish for your ultimate happiness. If that opinion is the one you deem true, then naturally I can never provide you happiness. I cannot do anymore than I already have. I am myself.