Monday July 24th

I made it home yesterday. I weighed myself this morning. I was down 3/10 of a pound. 🙁 I don’t get it. I KILLED myself burning the shit out of calories. How is this possible? It’s not bullshit “muscle weighs more than fat” either. I thought at least I would be down like 3 pounds. What the fuck? That is a huge disappoint. 

I feel a little better this morning, though, being back in my own space. I need to get several things done this am and then I have the lung doc appointment in the afternoon. My feet are aching. My place is filled with boxes for school. I will be glad when I get them OUT. 

Later, that same day…

It’s 6:24 pm. I went to the lung doctor today. She is upping my medicine, but thinks I’m okay. I went to the bank and the post office this morning. I haven’t felt good today. My feet are aching and my head hurts. I ordered myself some new running shoes this morning. I got Asics. That is the only brand endorsed by the American Podiatry Docs. What the hell. I’ll give them a try. 

I had 2 checks in my mail- one from New York DOE- my per session pay, and one from PNC- I had an ETSY deposit and the refund from one of my NYS tests go there. Ironically, I also got a bill from the state of Kentucky for taxes. I get one every fucking year, so they balanced each other out. Oh well. It’s better than just getting the bill only, I suppose. My last paycheck was only $500. That is all I will get on the next 3, too. I guess it’s good that I didn’t have my surgery and got that money back. I will pull into the gas station on empty in September when I start getting paid again. 

Ugh. I was happy about living in New York when I left here to go to Kentucky two weeks ago. Now, I am all out of sorts. I am upset over going to LTMS and seeing my kids and missing them. I am missing John. I am missing Noah. I don’t know what I want today. 

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