Some Things Never Fade

pain has a way of turning us into versions of ourselves that we are unable to recognize. it is like hitting rock bottom and you know you have to get back up, only you can’t help but sit consumed by the pain that makes you feel so empty. the heartbreak is finding comfort in sleeping but not being able to because your mind is constantly racing with all the things you wish you weren’t feeling and all the thoughts. as the night continues all those thoughts get worse; the pain is great than you could have ever imagined. all you keep thinking is how are you going to get through another day feeling these heavy feelings.
it is waking up and for a few seconds forgetting how much pain you are feeling. you wish you could just hang onto those seconds, but it hits you all over again. you feel it as if were a fresh wound. it’s that moment you reach for your phone hoping for that goodmorning text, but knowing you’ll never heard from that person again. it’s a constant reminder of how alone you are feeling. it is the notifications that no longer come with a familiar name that made you smile. it’s the images that once made you smile, but now hurt because you aren’t that person anymore. and the endings have a way of showing people’s true colors and it kills you knowing that perception you once had… is tarnished.
you wake up and try getting through the day without breaking down. you try to channel it into productivity but there is a lack of even caring about anything at all. you search for anything to fill the void.
it is the kind of pain that never fades. everyone tries to say things like, “everything happens for a reason” or “time will heal” but right now you aren’t there. you cannot see a future of healing and you dwell on the past of what used to be two people who were happy and good for one another. it is hard to see that change. and it is even harder when you might be the one at fault.
heartbreak hurts as much as it does because regardless of who may be at fault, there is a trust you had in someone that got ruined along the way and there is no fixing it. though every will say it will get better or you will get over it. although I truly believe there are some scars we live with, that you just take along the way with you and over time you just… learn to function with the missing pieces.

One thought on “Some Things Never Fade”

  1. I agree that we take those scars with us…they are there to remind us of the past and also help us look forward to the one who can see past those scars

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