Please don’t hide things like ADHD from a kid that has it. Don’t leave them to find out themselves after years of attributing such things to their character. It takes a long time to come to terms with the fact that there was a proper reason for all this the whole time, and it isn’t just your fault.
Sure, I wouldn’t have wanted you to let me blame every problem I had on my ADHD, using it as an excuse would just also be harmful, but you still should have told me. Do you have any idea how it feels to be internally screaming at yourself to be productive for hours on end while you just. Sit There. Trying for so long to just get one thing even half done, and you can’t. The only possible reason being that you’re “just lazy” or you “just need to make more of an effort”.
“I don’t deserve to score higher than these people on the test, they actually tried, look at how much more study they got done than me ”
“Why don’t I put in as much effort as everyone else? what is wrong with me?”
After a while I came to conclusions that were illogical and harmful. These false conclusions destroyed my self worth and I viewed myself as an inferior being. After years of accepting these misconceptions as facts about my character, I couldn’t just forget them. It has been extremely difficult and time consuming to start getting rid of such a long time’s worth of hardwired thinking, and it’s going to take a lot longer still.
Just tell them okay, hell maybe even take one step further and actually try to help them with it. I’m not here to claim that I know the first thing about parenting at all, but I know the effects first hand and they are not pleasant.