Confessions of an Anonymous Star 7.29

I read these affirmations, everyday pretty much, as I’ve come to the realization that my price for being what I so coveted since like 3, is what I also coveted, almost as much: love…

See, that finding love, a soulmate, wife, or girlfriend, is really just not in the cards for me. I secretly know this, and whether or not it propels or sinks me, I’m unsure of.

I think I play the opposite of such very well. So much so that no one really knows this true facet of my character, unless one is truly following these readings.

Do I meet a lot of women? Of course. Are there many house wives that have secretly adjoined with me behind their spouses back? Yes, many.  Do I see the sly in so many so called, ‘girlfriends’ that it’s gotten to the point, where girls telling me they have a boyfriend, is like an invitation? Nearly every freakin’ time. Still…I’m unmoved by it. Actually, my spell check wrote unloved, and that may be a truer assessment of where I’m at now: unloved. 

See, this success shit, is not really of you being loved by others. The only real love is the love for yourself. Everything else is merely people getting, (or hoping) to get what they want. It’s not love…it’s superficial lust, twisted…

Maybe all this lonely is a blessing in disguise. It allows for good focus, and it makes your life pain a tad more sharper than others. This is why I believe so many artists kill them selves. They live with this deep, sharp, and unending pain, everyday. Like, how everyday, I’m shitted on by someone, yet these people that surround me, can’t even wake up without me. Yeah, that’s right. My family is so trapped, that they can’t even get out of bed, unless I allow them. Still, they believe another ‘guy’ is coming out of the sky, to rescue them from, mental illness…

*sigh*

I’ve seen some artists here, but are they deep enough to be enshrined on her…🖤

 

 

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