Yesterday I took 3 loads of stuff to my school. I also took a load of stuff to goodwill. Today, I did my park walk and got cleaned up with the intention of going to the natural history museum, but I had forgotten my NYCID, and I wasn’t about to pay $27 to get in when I could get in for free with that ID. So, I just wandered back up to 86th street and then took the train home. I did go to an open house today on 96th street- it was a studio apartment that was so freaking tiny. There is a couple living there now. Holy shit, how are 2 people living in that space??? My place is huge compared to that! I’m just really aggravated with my place right now. I had 2 packages stolen this week from the lobby, I still have no working stove, my door knob falls off regularly after I’ve asked for it to be fixed- all they do is tighten the fucking stripped screw so in a few days it’s right back like it was- falling the fuck off- I have a piece of plastic that is taped into place rather than a bathroom window. It’s all so fucking frustrating. I have been trying to look for another place the past few days, but I can’t find shit. Oh, and I almost forgot! There is also graffiti in the stairwell now that may be gang tags. Awesome. Fucking awesome.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 47 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, “just keep breathing in and out, that’s enough for today.”