I know that it’s probably just me worrying a bit, but I sometimes panic at the thought of losing everything or everyone important to me because of carrying my secret around. If someone finds out, I’m done for.If someone hates me because of it, I lose them. If someone doesn’t believe me, it ruins me.
I know that regardless of what anyone agrees or disagrees about when it comes to my past, I know that people will always have different opinions about it and trying to use that to reassure myself is useless.I know that losing people isn’t my fault, that life just sucks sometimes, but it also can be pretty awesome in it’s own ways. I’m just afraid that one day someone will find out and I will have everything taken from me. It’s not even my fault, I had no control over my past, I have no control, or a very small amount of control over how I feel about the event itself.
I just wish thing’s could be different. I just wish my past didn’t happen so then I can be normal or so then I wouldn’t have to worry about family and friends disliking me or being taken away from me.