i cant believe i did this to everyone…again…I didn’t mean for this to happen…i thought i had enough control over myself…now I’m stuck in the hospital making everyone worried or just mad at me…again…am i ever going to get better? will they be able to forgive me…again? how damage have i done to you? or our kids? what do they even know for sure? do they remember the lights, the sirens, all the vehicles, the first responders in our house waking daddy up, the sight of me freaking out when they tried to get me on the stretcher????