First Entry, Last Day

If you only read the title you’re probably thinking that I am about to die… wrong. Currently I am sitting in my bed looking at all my stuff packed up for college. Oh the last day thing! Today was my last day working at Ultimate Tan, and here I have to admit I’m sad about it. I know that when I come back home my family will be here and for the most part the same, the friendships I care about will be here, but that place will never be the same to me again. Maybe its easier to only be sad about a job so I’m gonna be sad about it today and probably a lot more things next week. When I fist started working there I couldn’t talk to people who weren’t my age, I was awkward, I didn’t know my best friend would become my best friend. Somewhere along the way I started to love it and the people there. One day I just came in and I was wasn’t faking being nice or polite. I think about Allison who worked there and I used to think that she was sad and covering it with superflous kindness, but I was wrong. She was a sweet person who just cared about other people… and I want to be more like that. She was always bringing food or something to someone, asking them about their personal lives, anything to make them smile. Today she gave me a card with a Starbucks gift card and she kept saying she wished she could do more. Knowing that she cared about me and that she thought I was such a sweet person makes me want to be more like that. I think I am more like that now than I was when I started working there. I was so happy to learn that many customers had told her they would miss me next year. This last year, maybe longer I have felt like maybe no one really cared about me or maybe noticed me but I know now that is not true. Somehow knowing that people will come in and ask where Allie is makes me feel happy, like I was a tiny part of their lives and they didn’t even know me. This is going to sound weird and when I reread this I will definitely be judging but I think Allie became a sort of alter ego. It started out as a way to differentiate  the two Allison’s at work but became a joke that Allie was nicer, spoke differently, maybe a little fake. OK OK she was fake but now I think she is a part me. She is able to strike up conversations with strangers, she enjoys small talk with people, and she laughs awkwardly instead of making a bitchy comment. I am going to be sad about the people I am leaving but happy for what they have left me with. So today I say goodbye to a place that was more than just a job, a place where I was forced to grow up. I am not sure why I am posting this here. Honestly I don’t even know how 

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