I’ve been a nervous wreck for awhile now.  I have 16 more days until I can even refill my pills.  Work has been hell and the hours go by so slowly.  I dread going into work now.  Not like I used to like it before but now it’s just unbearable.  I have about 4 or 5 days until things get back to “normal” at work.  I saw Tyler the other night.  We finally had sex again.  It’s actually kind of nice to wait and then get all worked up when I finally see him again.  The next morning we went to Sf.  I couldn’t relax the entire time.  Between me being nervous about what to say and just being in the chaotic Sf in general, I was just too nervous to even be excited.  The only time I really relaxed was when I had a little bit of a beer.  He’s just way too good looking.  I’ve never been with someone who I was this attracted to and it makes me nervous.  This is just silly.  I just need to get my shit together.   Somehow.  I have work today and over the weekend I have shit hours so I won’t be doing much…including seeing Tyler.  I guess it’ll be good to get my head straight and not worry about it for awhile.  Ugh, I’m a mess. 

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